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Sinfest: Shakespeare 2

Cog

This brings a whole new meaning to the concept of advertising......

http://www.steelcitysfinest.com/HondaAccordAd.htm

Produced after 605 failed takes, with no trick photography, this video is an amazing piece of Honda advertising. Filmed over four almost complete days in Paris, this almost-unbelievable string of events really did happen in one two minute take. Director Antonie Bardou-Jaquet driven to "deranged despair" by the repeated failed takes told the Daily Telegraph that it felt like "Five years? Or is it eight?"

The one thing you really want is the one thing you can't have

I think I must be an incurable optimist... while in the doldrums and fog of realizing for the umpteenth time that it is only the things I really want that I can't have (it's amazing how depressed that can make you) I started looking up Murphy's Law...I think this is proof that you really can laugh about pretty much anything. 

If you search for Murphy's law you'll find any number of sites, but this one is my favourite because it has a wriggling amoeba at the top of the page... which is inherently funny just by itself ;)   http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/9_6.html

 Here's my favourites:

O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAWS: Murphy was an optimist.

In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, contain the errors.

THE LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITATION: A dropped tool will land where it will do the most damage.

THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account."

Morton's Law: "If rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer."

Epstein's Axiom: "With extremely few exceptions, nothing is worth the trouble."

Mathis' Rule: "It is bad luck to be superstitious."

Laura's Law: "No child throws up in the bathroom."

"If there is a opinion, facts will be found to support it."-- Judy Sprole

 and of course: Murphy's Mother's Law: "My son was right..."

 

Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory Of Everything

"We have been able to unify every single known conspiracy into one elegant theory," explained Mennon Black, head conspiriologist at Humorix. "Albert Einstein dedicated much of his life to finding a Grand Unified Theory that fully explained the natural laws of the Universe. He never reached that point. We, however, have taken a much different approach and instead only focused on finding a unified theory of conspiracy theories. We have reached that point and now know the secret of Everything, although we are still unclear about Life and the Universe. We're pretty sure the answer isn't 42, however."

http://humorix.org/articles/2002/04/grand-conspiracy/

Canadians in Hell

Two guys from Prince George die and wake up in hell.The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing?  Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold.  We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens.  The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold.  We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys.  He cranks the heat up as high as it will go.  The people are wailing and screaming everywhere.He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.  The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Prince George so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight.Finally he comes up with the answer.  The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives.  The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy.  Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy.  What is wrong with you two?"

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